My Stomach Turns.thepage

No amount of food or desire of my tongue will satiate this unbearable hunger.

The hungry ghost ravages and feeds, spoiling my stomach with any delectable taste it can imagine; "here you go," and "have this," and "try this," to no avail.

In the end, I am only left with the gutwriggling sharp pangs of disheartening reality.


There was a time I could wildly devour this intense anxiety without even the slightest retaliation, secretly banishing mounds of food and feelings to my belly until it could stretch no more.

As my continually evolving spirit is birthed and expressed in physical form, it declares a slowly decaying pattern here, demanding a deeper awareness be cultivated.

Only the Deepest of Pleasure

I pine for only the deepest of pleasure.

Not the pleasure that sweetens my tongue,
drips down to my heart in a ripple of waves,
then crawls back up again, asking for more.

But the pleasure of feeding my soul
with my own hands, the gentle nourishment,
hearty and green, extending through my lower belly and beyond.

Not just the pleasure of emptying my heart
onto a blindingly blank page,
only to have more and more to purge.

I want to scribble my heart onto the walls of my room,
spilling onto the paved sidewalks,
around the block and up the hill,
to the ocean, scribbling in the sand,
retracing a spiraling labyrinth, over and over,
sinking deeper into millions of grains with each guided revolution.

I want to sit. I want to soften and open.
And just sit.

And experience my ecstatic body shaking,
my head hypnotically circling,
my torso rocking as dynamic life force
courses through the deepest of spaces within.

Inquiry To Go

What are you working on?
What moves you, each step you take?
One step closer to knowing.

Pull that thread loose.
Yes, that one right there,
which tickles your resistance.

Write it down,
something you don't know.
Something you want to know.

Please write it down.
Then, like a scientist,
ask questions of the space around you.

Ask bus stop ads,
ask books on shelves,
ask the images hiding in the imperfections of your wood floor.

You are surrounded by friends with answers.

Then notice the obvious,

this, your most potent answer.
Obvious means you know it when it seizes your attention.
If you miss its slap across your face,
consider that you've purposefully ignored it.

So, this answer doesn't satiate your desire, you say.
Why, this answer only brings up another question, now does it?
Well, unravel that one, too.

Follow your most burning of questions, love.

And PLEASE, write it down.
On a small folded piece of paper,
that fits in your pocket.

Take it to go.
Revisit it many times today, my friend.
And PAY ATTENTION,
to keep this, your most imperative work, alive.